Looking at Mommy!!

Deep Sleep!!

Bryn and Daddy!!!

Daddy loves her in her hoody!!!

After Bath Hair!

So Hard!

No one ever can prepare u for having a newborn in your life. I wish breastfeeding came easy for me as I know it has for some of my friends. The first week home was such a challenge. Bryn was only latching on to one breast and then I was pumping on the other. I felt like I wasnt bonding with my daughter like I feel I was supposed too. Then came on the crying all the time because I felt I was failing her and the overwhelming guilt. Like I wasnt giving her my all. So I decided to only pump and bottle feed. It is still time consuming and a lot of work, but it makes me feel like she is getting satisfied with every feeding and she is not fighting to latch on to me. So I'm storing as much as I can and not giving up. In this journey so far I told myself I wasnt going to lose who I was in the process but with this experience so far I felt like I have. I'm not the same person to my husband or even to other people. I have to put my foot down and say enough is enough when it is time. I just want the best for my daughter. I have to tell myself that losing me in the process is not the best for Bryn.

It has taking me so long to update this blog Robs and I anti virus ran out and since I was on strict bed rest we just now got one so lets began.

At 35 weeks I got put on bed rest because of elevated blood pressure also my mom had toxemia when she had my brother and I so this is hereditary. So the longest 5 weeks of my life began. I'm off work and not doing anything. The worst thing for me because Rob was laid off at this time and I only wanted to take off 6 or so weeks off work. But if you had children you know that things change when your pregnant even your birth plan. So I was home making the most of it with my loving husband. We started finishing the nursery and making headbands and bows. My husband is the most creative man I ever met. He will be doing the projects for sure when it comes down to school. HINT HINT!!

37 weeks I decided to do maternity pics I was on the fence with them because I saw some samples and they were kinda scary. Like naked with high heels and boobs out and all kinds of naked that u can think of. But our good friend Kurt Nelison the photographer that did our wedding said we will be able to work with whatever u want and it ended up to be the best thing I did. We have great pics for the nursery and for the house. A great memory of my gorgeous daughter in my belly!

38 weeks I have a Dr's appt and it was time for her to check my cervix and to check the position of baby Bryn. She checked me and was concerned because it was extremely hard for what appeared to be the head. So she sent me over to get an ultra sound right away. Wouldn't you know it baby Bryn was breech! So the Dr said they didn't want to try to turn her because there wasn't enough fluid for her to turn. My Dr said go on complete bed rest. She told me to go home rest and to eat and in a week we will schedule a c section. Also the baby and I will be monitored every other day. OMG a week! Wow how everything is now so surreal. I went home and told Rob this is our last Friday together then everyday after that was our last day for us to be by ourselves.

The 19th of March!!! We arrived at the hospital at 11 in the morning and was scheduled for surgery at 1. I was extremely calm up to point where I was on the table strapped down with the spinal delivered and the Rob walks in the room and I lost it. Crying like it was my job. So they started the surgery and in 10 minutes they asked Robert if he wanted to see them deliver our baby he stood up and saw the best miracle happen. It was Baby Bryn Elisabeth De Armond screaming and it was the best sound ever. Dr Smale told me I had a heart shaped uterus so where the heart would come down was blocking Bryn from turning. But it was completely normal but very unique. So Rob was with Bryn and I was getting sewed up and felt pretty lite headed and my shoulders hurt really bad. This felt like it was the longest part of everything. But they came over and told me that she was 6lbs 8 oz and 19 inches long and then I lost it again. She was so beautiful!

The start of breastfeeding was a breeze in the hospital and the pain was tolerable. But I guess I wasn't prepared for the time at home. Cluster feeding and not latching on and melt downs. Feeling like I'm not giving enough so emotional. But this is all normal people keep telling me. She had her first Dr's appt she left the hospital at 5lbs 15 oz and 7 days later weighing 6lbs 5 oz. Which is awesome! That means she is getting enough milk and that I was doing my job! Lots of poopy diapers that look like yellow runny mustard and the amazing thing is that they don't stink. Shes not gassy and she doesn't spit up. So this makes me just want to breastfeed even more. Even though this is the hardest thing I ever done. Im going to give it my all!
She is growing and changing everyday. She really likes to pee and poop when dad is in the middle of changing her! HEHE!!!

30 and 32 weeks!!!!

Wow I cant believe i only have 8 weeks left!! A lot of changes getting a little harder to sleep. I have been having hip pain on both sides. Also she is still transverse.

I had my baby shower and it was a little stressful because we sent out invites 5 weeks ago asking people to call if they couldnt come because we had a caterer. So we had around 45 people show so not to bad. Spent a little extra money on people not letting us know they were coming. Oh well all in all it was a lot of fun!

Rob and I are nesting for sure! We washed all the clothes and opened all the stuff took some stuff back and have some odds and ends to get before the big day!! We have her name and some other things for the walls in her nursery but we have most of the nursery finished! So excited for the big day!!

I have no stretch marks, hemorrhoids, not constipated, and im not waddling!!! WOOHOOO!!!